struggles

Irony. That is how I see my latest struggle. I struggle to get this weight - baby weight and non-baby weight, off. I want it gone. I want to get back to my prepregnancy weight before the next baby comes along. To get there, I have about 10 pounds to go. I have been struggling with the same 2 pounds since November. Freaking November. But yet I still attend my Weight Watcher meetings. Every.Fricken.Friday. I go. I weigh in. I listen. I clap. I go home. I don't do shit. Nothing. I am not on the program at all. Why? Been there done that. I know if you work the program it WORKS. But for me, the program is so second nature, I know how to cheat. I know what I am not doing right. I know. Yet I don't do shit.

The irony you ask? My daughter's weight issue. She is tiny. Small. Off the charts in a not so good way. Puzzling, really. To me at least. I've had weight issues all my life. Always been heavy. J might not have that problem. So who's genes did she get? I am guessing Hubby's. He used to have a metabolism that would make any woman jealous. Of course that has caught up with him, but it has to be him. Sure as hell ain't me! Unless there is a skinny ass diva hidden inside.

But I am happy to say, my Mojo is back. Yes, I have found my mojo to lose the weight. Still on Weight Watchers, but living the CORE life. I can do this. I know I can. We are starting to TTC next month (or this month if I can pursuade Hubby with various things *evil laugh*). I need to get these last 10 pounds off. Need to and now I want to.

As for J, my hope for her is to never experience anything I ever went through regarding weight. To never be heavy or fat or sad or picked on because she was fatter than the other girls. I want her to have a positive self image. I am going to do everything in my power as a Mommy to make sure that I instill good eating habits and a high self esteem into my little princess.

posted by Stephanie @ 8:58:00 AM